Your filthy heart

What I feel when I look at you?
The hatred
And how much I want to see
you lying dead on the ground.
And at the same time I feel
a yearning
This is more than I can get
my head wrapped around.

I hate you,
I despise and detest your filthy heart
But yet I can't take us being apart.

I want you
I long and desire for your filthy heart
But yet I want us so widely apart.

We are the same, but I don't know the rules to your game.
Who is to blame when both of our arrows hit the same aim?
Why should I feel shame when it's only your filthy heart which knows my true name?